Boy, if only I had/hadn’t …… Life would be so different now.
If I were ranking emotions and mental activities in terms of usefulness, regret would be right near the bottom of the list. We all recognize that things would be different, i.e. better, had we done or not done certain things in the past, and some of those things can have pretty strong emotions attached to them. But there’s a big difference between that and the almost chronic hang-dog state of “if-only”. In fact, living in the past with “if only’s” is a primary reason people do not achieve success.
Regret is an interesting emotion: the person apparently feels bad about something they did or didn’t do. Some individuals feeling regret manage to make you feel bad in the process. So bad, in fact, that you go out of your way to make them feel better. You can definitely help some individuals, but you also come across individuals who never feel better no matter what you do.
To achieve success you have to look forward. Learn your lessons from past mistakes, and then let them go. And while you’re at it, let go of the mistakes others have made, too.
Learning how to let the past stay in the past is a vital entrepreneurial skill.
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Great blog..spot on!!
Such a good point about staying stuck. We continue to experience the past in the same way as when it happened when we continue to look at it through the same filter of interpretation and emotion.
Emotions are intended to be a signal, not a continuous state. Just as with a fire alarm, once you know there is a fire, you don’t need to keep listening to the alarm.
The emotional alarm is when you should ask questions about what is or has happened as a way to learn something that will help you take the next step forward. We are intended to be moving forward, and our learning experiences assist us with our choices as to how.
Staying in one place, reliving the same point of experience over and over is like leaving the fire alarm on after the fire is out – that moment is over, have a new one!